August 1, 2021
I thought the earth
– Mary Oliver, Sleeping in the Forest
remembered me, she
took me back so tenderly, arranging
her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds. I slept
as never before, a stone
on the riverbed, nothing
between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated
light as moths among the branches
of the perfect trees. All night
I heard the small kingdoms breathing
around me, the insects, and the birds
who do their work in the darkness. All night
I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling
with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.
How have you been this summer? I just came back from teaching the 10-day ecodharma retreat at the Rocky Mountain Ecodharma Retreat Center and my heart was full from the journey. I was deeply moved by the vulnerability and wisdom of yogis who wanted to do the work of facing climate crisis and did so courageously.
During this retreat, I slept two nights outside alone without a tent for the first time in my life. It was such a mesmerizing and human experience. Our animal and human instincts became vividly alive under the night sky, in the shadow of the trees, with sounds of other animals and beings rustled near and afar. There is something so primal about sleeping outside in the wilderness. Our culture and protection fall away, and we are left with our vulnerability of an animal body and the intimacy of our mind and heart, held between the earth and the celestial sky.
What I often learned from wilderness experiences is that there is a trade-off between protection and aliveness. Every invention that we create to protect us – mosquito nets, socks and gloves, tents, houses, air conditioning, technology…insulate us from the elements and provide comfort, but they also insulate the aliveness that comes with experiencing our senses fully and our dynamic responses to the ever-changing elements. I love our human ingenuity to create comfort and protection (so grateful for a warm sleeping bag and a thick sleeping pad), AND it’s also good to be aware of when we can let go of protection and allow us to come alive. Each time we do so, we build our confidence in facing changes and unknowns.
May you be blessed with opportunities to experience your aliveness this coming early fall, and hope to see you along the path.
Blessings and love,
Lin
Photo: Rocky Mountain Ecodharma Retreat Center, Colorado